I don't know if any of you happen to watch Boardwalk Empire (and if so, if you do it for all the boobs all over the place - goodness gracious!) but J-Man and I got pretty into this first season. Clearly it appealed to us due to our natural heritage as fellow gangsters. So while watching the creepy FBI agent and his super stoic wife, we fell upon the only quote I can remember from the entire series.
"Every 28 days the red blood flows"
Disgusting, right? Did she really have to put it that way? Just right out there? Doesn't she have tact?
I looked at J-Man giggling to him as I deeply stated, "Every 28 days the red blood flows"
We laughed, as we like to do. And then we kept watching.
He was probably following the plot, wondering what twist would be next or what the appeal of whipping oneself while looking at a picture of a teenage girl could possibly be. I was spiraling.
I get her, I thought. I totally get this crazy, religious 1920s white woman. In fact, I am her. I am her 2010 counterpart. And J-Man is my harsh FBI pro-prohibition, straight-laced husband who thinks I should shut up and wait my turn to be blessed with child. And those are the flavorless meals I cook for him over which we never have kind things to say. That's totally, totally us.
I must've been really deep in thought because J-Man was staring at me intensely.
I launched into persuasion mode. I told him, that's us on there.
"Every 28 days... that's us. We just sit here and wait for the red blood to flow"
Insert J-Man's confused look. Crosseyes, furrowed brows and everything. "ninja, whaaa???"
He laughed, you know, because it was a little funny. I was in my so-serious-it's-ridiculous state. It comes out often when babies are up for discussion.
awkward silence
"You really think that's us?!?!"
He was right. That isn't him. If you've met J-Man, you KNOW that isn't him. Pro-prohibition? Ha! This man's biggest curiosity with the church is trying to figure out how there could be a God that doesn't love beer. Ha! Harsh and straight laced? J-Man's best jokes are about molestation - Uncle J-Man! And while he thinks it's funny to call me barren in a goofy sweet voice, he doesn't actually want me to shut up about babies. He just wants me to talk a little *less* about babies. Fair enough
Well, maybe it isn't you....
We laughed again. He's right. I'm legitimately crazy when I'm baby-crazy.
But for real, days like today I sit back and curse the world.
Every 24-40 days that gd red blood flows. Shouldn't this be reserved for unlikeable HBO characters?
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