Love Notes

Not everything PDG and I talk about these days is as heavy as race. For instance, one day this summer he came up and showed me this note.

The conversation went as follows:

PDG: Mommy, I wrote you a note
Me: Aw, thanks. What does it say?
PDG: "Dear Mommy. From PDG. I hope you like it."

Then my heart melted into a puddle on the floor and we hugged with one of those awesome full body hugs that he gives now and will certainly deny ten years down the road.

I love this kid.

Silly Cakes

PDG and MDG both love to play on J-Man's and my phones. Maybe we shouldn't let them? I don't know. Regardless, they do. They used to love to scroll through photos of themselves. Then they moved on to some toddler apps that teach colors and numbers and the stuff that you're not supposed to expect a device to teach them, but in reality what can a little screen-reinforcement hurt on the topic? Sometimes they make their way to Netflix for some Daniel Tiger, Super Why, Chuggington or even occasionally the short-lived and intense Russian series Masha's Tales.

And also, as I've probably mentioned before, they love youtube. The thing about youtube is it remembers what you've watched before, and gives you suggestions. If, heaven forbid, I've watched a grown-up video (don't think badly of me here, I'm talking the soundtrack to Last Five Years, or the video for Bieber's Love Yourself or anything else that doesn't feature puppets or nursery rhymes) the boys get upset wanting to know where their videos are and insisting I get back to those bright and animated suggestions.

But once the suggestions pop up, especially when MDG takes the lead, it's a rapid fire roulette of clips. One video leads to another, to another, often with none of them being finished, until they land on either a) something they love or b) something they've explicitly been told to avoid. Again, don't go to bad places with this. I'm talking videos of people opening toys or eggs and showing how they work. Somewhere in the world millions of children or adults are watching these videos, but they are strictly prohibited in the G household. Want to know how toys work? Go play with any of the ones currently sitting stagnant in either of the giant toyboxes we own.

So, anyway, one day the boys got really quiet - never a good sign - and when J-Man and I realized they were watching what must've been an off limits video, we checked it out. Sure enough, it was someone explaining how something worked. Only the product wasn't in English packaging. And it wasn't a toy. It was Japanese gummy sushi candies. PDG explained that they were silly cakes, and the name stuck.

Also, surprise surprise, J-Man decided he had to get his hands on this treat. He went to the always trustworthy Amazon, ordered some silly cakes from Japan, and we waited the weeks for them to arrive.

They were a success. The boys loved them. It was daddy son bonding time. And apparently they taste good to grown-ups too. Plus, with the magic of youtube, we knew we could find videos in English of how the whole thing works.

Since then we've ordered them twice more, and the boys love making silly cakes with daddy. There's measuring and mixing and near chem-lab precision, and in the end, a tiny tasty treat. Highly recommended.

And, for my one Texas friend who will have any idea what I'm talking about, making these is like mashing together memories of our Thursdays in NYC at Wasabi Lobby and that Tasti D-Lite with all the gummies by the pound. Now all we need is a way to incorporate Grey's Anatomy and its decline into whine central...

Huge Fans

PDG is trying to learn the art of joke telling. So far, it isn't coming particularly naturally, which I think is normal. If not, whatever, it is what it is.

J-Man decided to help him out the other night by pointing towards the ceiling as they somehow both were lying together in PDG's tiny toddler bed. J-Man prompted, "Why does that cheer for me?"

Silence I imagine.

"Because it's a huge fan of mine."

Get it? He went on.

Why does that write me letters?

Because it's a huge fan of mine.

PDG ate up those two jokes and later repeated them to me a few times in a row during bedtime the next night. We decided to add some new ones into the rotation.

J-Man: Why does that clap for me?

Me: Because it's a huge fan of mine. Why does it wear my jersey?

J-Man: Because it's a huge fan of mine. Why does it applaud when I come in the room?

Me: Because it's a huge fan of mine. Why does it drink too much when I drop a pass?

J-Man: Because it's a huge fan of mine. Why does it shoot me like Selena?

It took a second before I was dying of laughter in tears, PDG and MDG both looking at me like a crazy person. Maybe it isn't as funny reading it here. Maybe it's because I'm a Spanish teacher who has shown Selena on multiple occasions for lessons on Culture and therefore needed no refreshing on her tragic ending. Or maybe it wasn't actually funny and I'm just on the verge of some breakdown. After all, a minute after I stopped wiping away my tears, PDG did ask both me and J-Man if we were feeling better now, in his most earnestly nurturing voice.

We assured him that we were. In fact, we were the luckiest parents in the world. And lucky for us, bedtime tears don't always have to be out of anger.

Best Friend Birthdays

PDG has a good friend named Lil O. In fact, he refers to him as "my very best friend," sometimes with an additional "very." It's super cute and they've been friends ever since Lil O's mom and I were pregnant at the same time and decided they would be. I think that's pretty much the main ingredient to preschool age friendships. That or attending the same daycare.

But even when we mention daycare friends, it's clear that Lil O beats out the rest by a long shot. As such, PDG was pretty excited about Lil O's birthday party. Unlike our family which still attempts to convince the kids that parties consist of no more than cupcakes and one or two families coming over to play, Lil O's family goes all out for birthdays. There have been bouncy houses and catered events so far, and this year was another rager at the soft playroom.

If you don't know what a soft playroom is, imagine a racquetball court covered in gymnastics mats with some big soft blocks to climb on, tunnels to crawl through, a ball pit, some bigger balls to throw at each other, and goofy mirrors for the one-year-old crew.

PDG had a blast. MDG had a blast. Every child five and under had a blast, and there was surprisingly little crying considering all the ball-throwing, self-launching, and general hyperactivity involved. Then there was pizza and cake - practically two food groups for toddlers - and a craft that led to MDG covering himself and my lap with glitter glue. It was the precise recipe for a family nap.

The only downside is I'm a little worried that PDG is going to want something that elaborate for his own fourth birthday in March, but with any luck we can hold off another year. Is that bad of me to say? Do I have to do a party too in order to be a decent mom? I hope not. Goodie bags and helium balloons aren't my expertise... I'm just going to convince myself that we can all do different things and still end up with kids who love us for being like we are. And my introvert side can breathe a sigh of relief at not planning an event where I have to invite my kids' friends instead of my own. I get enough of a panic attack planning our annual Christmas brunch.

What Does a G Say?

This summer I spent a kid-free church meeting jotting down the random things my boys were saying back in July in the hopes of returning to blogging. Obviously I didn't do anything with the scribbled-on program. I think it's tucked away in one of my story notebooks or jammed between couch cushions along with a few spare raisins, some crushed goldfish and probably a rainbow of peeled-off crayon wrappers.

If I ever find it, I'll write it up and add a hyperlink here.

In the meantime, now that it's November, here are some soundbites a fly on our wall might encounter. Or more likely a spider. It is fall after all.

A-town Fair 2015

"Where are my paaaaaants?"
"Darn, darnety darn, darn, darn!"
"Everything is awesome..."
(can you tell PDG's been obsessively watching the Lego Movie???)

one particular bedtime the day after daylight savings, once the door was shut:
PDG: "Waaaahhhh" (crash, boom, sounds of flailing and overtired limbs)
MDG: "PDG, stop! PDG, no!"
PDG: "I don't wanna stop! I want another song. I want another song!!!"
MDG: "Mommmmmm-myyyyyy"
PDG: "She can't hear you, MDG. (pause) Let's try it together. Mommy!!!"
MDG: "Mommmmmm-myyyyyyy."
repeat for a good long while...

"Um, excuse me, what did you say?" - PDG inserting himself into any conversation

"MDG, what color is this?" (any person pointing at any thing that is any color)
"Geen!"

Who says this is PDG's bike?

"Anything can happen, anything can happen, anything can happen" - PDG channeling Ellie Goulding

"It's a hard knock life, for me"
"Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow..."
(there's been some Annie watching too. the 2014 black version. jury's still out...)

"What song do you want?"
"ABC's"
"A-B-C-D..."
"No, backwards!"
(J-Man, turning to face the door) "A-B-C-D..."
"Not that way! Like Mommy"
(Me, wishing I'd never shared my secret talent) "Z-Y-X-W-V-and-U..."

A few MDG frequent orders:
"Mommy, wait!"
"Mommy, come!"
"Mommy, stop!"
"Pees." (please)
"Mommy, carry you." (aka will you carry me?)
"Self!" (aka I can do this myself, yo - what do you think I am, a baby?!"

"I have a headache" - J-Man
"My back hurts" - me
"We're getting old..." - both of us

....
Yes, the photos are from August. Better late than never.

Halloween Happenings 2015

You guys, the scariest thing happened on Halloween night.... I dreamed I was pregnant! It keeps happening and I keep waking up with the same unsettled feeling. I think it's because a coworker is talking about babies a ton as she gears up to start trying this spring, and given my whole crazy birth control history, I have little faith in my body to follow my program.

I love babies. I do. It was super cute to Facetime with baby C last night in her adorable pumpkin onesie. I've hit like on just about every Facebook post of kids under age one on my timeline. I can't wait for more of my friends to be at the point where they're ready for pregnancies and babies too (but zero pressure, ladies). I just keep remembering how much crazy work goes into the beginning.

Thankfully, the rest of Halloween weekend was less terrifying. We kicked it off with a trip to J-Man's work. Once again they went all out with decorations everywhere. Cubicles were covered in streamers and lights and candy and even some outdoor inflatables. The boys practiced their "trick-or-treat" or "treat" as MDG preferred, and PDG corrected everyone who thought MDG was a dinosaur instead of a dragon. I mean, what knight hangs out with dinosaurs??

Saturday we woke up with too much energy for 6:30am so we made plans with my work BFF and her kids at an indoor trampoline park. Lots of fun but lots of money. It made me want to open one of those in a town that doesn't have one yet and rake in the dough.

After buying too much candy and having an unsuccessful mama/PDG naptime, we lit the rotting pumpkins, velcroed on the costumes, and set out to go door to door.

We kept it simple, just walking up and down our own Mormon Street, and even bumped into some kids we know from Nursery. J-Man and I lagged behind a bit, letting PDG work on his social skills of walkiing up by himself to ask for candy and say thank you on his own.

What a big kid he's becoming. So grown up. No wonder I dreamed about more babies. This guy is so far from a baby I almost don't remember the four months of ear-piercing screams every two hours.

Almost.

We got back to the house and counted our stash. The boys each picked three to eat before reluctantly letting us place their pumpkin baskets out of reach. Then, even more confused, they helped us pass out other candy to other kids who came to our door.

The up side is they got to stay awake a whole extra hour. J-Man and I thought it might help our chances of last night's Fall Back not screwing over our morning. It didn't help anything though. They awoke at 5:30 like it was 6:30 and are currently showering with J-Man while I search the internet for that meme all my fellow parent friends were sharing yesterday.  Ok, found it, here you go...

Still, even with the early rising and the crazy sugar rush adrenaline craziness and the additional mandatory teeth brushing over the past 48 hours, it's been a good run.

Now, time to eat their candy and pretend like nothing happened...

Those Perfect Pumpkin Pictures

Now that I’m blogging again, I’ve been thinking about mom guilt. If you don’t have mom guilt, you’re either a) not a mom or b) way more evolved than I am. In either case, we are on totally different wavelengths because mom guilt and I battle it out all the time.

Sometimes, the battle is simple. For example: I know too much screen time is bad. I also know that there are few tears in my house that free reign of youtube doesn’t solve. I push the guilt aside and swear that I don’t give in too, too much. Then I pass my phone along and adjust to endless Wheels on the Bus or, worse, the Gummy Bear song. I’m proud to say I also draw the line when PDG starts watching those ridiculous videos of people unwrapping toys to show how they work. How does he keep finding  those?! Or the ones with kinder eggs?!? The internet is weird.

Anyway.

My recent battle should be straightforward too. It’s the whole insta-mom thing. Like, if I’m being honest, I’m a bad mom instagrammer. My boys do so many cute things. More cute things than any other mom’s boys because they’re my boys and that’s how motherhood works. But somehow, on Instagram and Facebook, and the other social media websites I’m too dusty to figure out yet (I hear dusty is a word the kids say these days about us old folks) other moms are totally winning. At the pumpkin patch, their kids actually sit by a pumpkin and smile while looking at the camera, showing teeth, and twinkling their eyes. Mine? Well, here’s the best I got.

Not horrible, I know, but we were there for hours. We did a billion slides. We rode a hayride (ok, in fairness, I almost lost my phone in the hay and PDG did spend the first few minutes crying in fear so pictures were low on the agenda). We got to pet animals and run free with our best friends. We picked out pumpkins for the family. I should have a whole album edited in the perfect filters, right?

Well, I think I'm failing. I feel a little guilty, and the only thing making me feel better is that hey, at least these couple pictures I did happen to capture can now be forever commemorated on this website. Because I will keep writing. I will.

You know how I know? PDG asked for “Welcome to New York” yesterday morning in the car. It was (embarrassingly enough) the music I was jamming to when I was writing my story last spring and once again got me itching to type away. So while I need a better muse than T-Swizz, I’m back in this blogging thing for the long haul. And if I can wrap my brain around it, I’m going to be ok with the few imperfect shots I do manage to take of my boys along the way.  

from a few weeks ago

Camp Nicole July 2015 Schedule

How are we G's staying busy you ask? Well mostly by following Camp Nicole schedule. It goes a little like this:

6-7am - wake up and snuggle in my bed while J-Man dresses for work

7-8:30am- gradually move downstairs, eat some combo of dinosaur oatmeal (PDG), chocolate eggos (MDG) and yogurt/oatmeal/fruit/granola bars/etc (me) all coveted by and eventually shared with MDG and PDG

8:30-9:30am - get dressed, choose a park for the day, pack a "park bag" and inevitably choose a snack that one boy likes and the other doesn't, and convince PDG to potty  even though he'd much prefer the chance to wait and pee on a tree

9:30am-12pm - head somewhere outdoors with one single goal: wear PDG out so that he naps. Everything else comes in a distant second place. Fingers crossed the other park parents/nannies aren't obnoxious.

12-1pm - get back home, eat an easy-to-fix lunch balancing out any unhealthy hot dogs or chicken nuggets with excessive blueberries (and hope J-Man gets stuck with those diapers...)

1-3:30pm - independent play in the bedroom until the boys pass out. Occasional check ins required to remind PDG that bed-jumping is not, actually a "quiet" activity like books or stuffed animals. Also not quiet - hiding MDG's blanket from him, screaming "say geronimo," pretending to echo, and throwing socks at one another. Quiet but equally not ok - finding a chapstick and eating the whole thing, unscrewing the lamp's light bulb, stripping all the blankets and fitted sheet from the bed. As for me, watch two episodes of something embarrassing, possibly do some novel revisions, maybe read some more of the Amy Poehler book, sweep up any sand deposits and take at least five minutes to sit in total silence.

3:30ish-5pm - Operation Wiggles Out (Part II) location varies depending on how long dinner will take to prepare but jumping and running highly encouraged.

5-5:30pm - eat again and try to trick MDG into ingesting a vegetable and not just some cheese and animal cracker combination. Unload dishwasher while no one can break anything while trying to help

5:30-6ishpm - keep checking the clock to see how much longer until J-Man gets home. Notice the living room suddenly get covered with every toy we own.

6-7:30pm - mix and mash talking to J-Man while he eats with corralling the hyper children and convincing them that cleanup/bath/brushing teeth/pajamas are all super awesome activities

7:30-7:40pm - successfully ask J-Man about his day after pulling the boys' door shut

7:40pm - miss the boys and say how we can't wait to wake them up and play again

7:45 - 10ish - watch Downton Abbey, practice our terrible British accents, wax philosophical about how to solve the world's problems, step on a crayon or puzzle piece we somehow overlooked, wonder what our life would look be like without the boys, decide we're glad we'll never know, and tuck ourselves in at a more reasonable time than during the school year, but still early

10-6am - wake up twice to pee. possibly once more because MDG decides to announce he also woke up, pray he doesn't need attention, remember he's my last baby and he won't need me forever, and try not to have any more dreams about a 3rd kid. Come on subconscious, that shop is closed!!

Time to start again.

PDG Turns Three

Who told this guy he could grow up? Was it you? Is that what you've been doing while I've been buried by repeat snow storms and other writing projects instead of blogging?

Totally not fair.

Regardless, he's three years old now, and would probably like me to tell you a few fun facts.

 Likes:

• counting to 15 correctly and then randomly calling out any other numbers he knows in no particular order. this sometimes starts at 11 or 12 instead
• meat. all meats
• brushing his teeth by himself with the blue bubble gum toothpaste that he swallows before attempting to spit out
• teaching his little brother how to do things - particularly with electronics
• going potty (we did it guys!)
• being outside
• snow, if he has gloves on
• did I say meats?
• jelly beans, thin mints, jerky and everything else we bribed him with during his two month potty training marathon
• singing J-Man's rap songs on cue, and sometimes making up his own nonsense lyrics instead
• Taylor Swift's 1989 album (my bad...)
• turning the deadbolt and opening the door when J-Man gets home from work
• splashing in the bathtub
• bananas and milk before or daily trip to Miss S's daycare
• blanket forts and the baby burrito game in the mexiblanket
• berries
• putting on his own clothes (success rate aside)
• The Jungle Book, Cars, Dumbo, Super Why and Frozen
• echoes
• grocery carts with the mini-cars attached to the front

 Dislikes:

• The big light at 5:25am 
• Everything else that happens from 5:25-5:55am before his banana and milk
• being told to wait before eating something in sight and/or within reach
• naptime
• listening to NPR, aka news, instead of Frozen or Taylor Swift
• taking his shoes off because we aren't going back outside that day
• when MDG steals his toys and runs the other direction

Growing Stats:

• 4T clothes and size 10 shoes
• 37lbs (93%)
• 40in (95%)

Happy Birthday Little Big Man. Mama loves you to the moon and back

Valentine Surprise

I'm not really a surprise person.

J-Man doesn't believe me when I say this, and I think it's because I do love gifts. I mean, giving and receiving Christmas gifts is a thrill. I'm careful not to open trunks or closets or his email account starting at Thanksgiving just to be sure any sweet purchase he's planning isn't ruined before the big day.

Gifts are great.

It's the pre-announced, suspense-addled surprises that do me in.  If we're going somewhere, I want to know where, when, for how long, what to pack etc. Will it be just us? Who already knows what I don't know? Do they think I'll like the surprise? Am I expected to have a specific reaction? Are the kids involved? If not, who's going to take care of them?

Even when it was our honeymoon, a portion of wedding-planning I was fully willing to pass along to J-Man, I set some non-surprise parameters. I didn't need the resort name, but I did need the general location and departure/arrival dates and times. Once it was clear - Punta Cana/7days/fly out morning after wedding - I could continue in blissful ignorance. And I didn't even need to make the decisions for the big part. The DR was J-Man's choice, he just told me what it would be. And like any sun-loving fiancee, I was happy to indulge his Caribbean island goals.

So when I found out a few weeks ago that J-Man was planning something for Valentine's day, I got nervous. To his credit, he did offer to tell me what our activity would be at various points, but I kept feeling like that would somehow spoil his fun. He wanted to surprise me, was sure I would like it, and wanted me to trust his gift-giving success rate.

I tried to imagine what it could be. The last big surprise like this was when he and his friend O planned a trip for KB and me to go to Annapolis. It ended up a lovely weekend, but we were not into the anticipation leading up to the departure.

I figured this time it wouldn't be a trip. Maybe a show? Something kid-firendly? Especially since it didn't sound like he'd asked my family to babysit, and we'd been away from the kids all week. Perhaps we'd go to an indoor water park? After all, Great Wolf Lodge was a blast over the summer.

A few days prior to the big reveal, it did come out that it was a two-day activity. I almost told him to just tell me, but I didn't want to give in. Yes, my stubbornness shares some of the blame for this frustration, I know. Nobody's perfect.

Anyway, Saturday came and after five quiet mornings in a kid-free home, we awoke to coos and giggles and "I don't wanna get dressed. I don't wanna go potty. I want jelly beans" and so forth. J-Man left to gather the H Family and I dealt with a seemingly sick MDG and an off-his-routine PDG and headed to brunch. It was a nice brunch with Mama and Papa H, Big Sis and Uncle J, KB and her family and us G's. Well, except for MDG being so sick and clingy that he didn't eat a bite and clutched on to me the entire time.

When we left the restaurant we headed home to pack (turns out we were going out of town) and I finally broke down and demanded to know the plan. I wish I could say I was sweet and immediately appreciative. I wasn't. I was frustrated and my arms ached from MDG, and my head ached from worrying about him, and I just wanted to know what shows J-Man had in store for us for the weekend.

No shows.

We were heading back to.... Annnnn-apolis.

And, because I demanded no more surprises, I was told that once again O and KB would be there too.

Like last time, it was super cold, only this time both MDG and J-Man were sick, so it was J-Man with the naps in the hotel, me watching MDG run around destroying the hotel room, and sweet KB who offered to take PDG to play with Lil O by seeing boats, eating ice cream, and running laps in the lobby.

We went to Annapolis Smokehouse for a meat-lover's dream of a barbecue dinner, then both families put on pajama's at seven, watched some Nat Geo tuna-fishing til 8, and then all curled up for hotel snuggles like the family folks we are now.

Times have changed, especially bedtimes, but it was a perfect getaway. I don't think we'll double in size again over the next four years, but I do think we should do this again sometime. And maybe not as a surprise. Probably not in February either. But it's fun to realize what a gift your family is, big or small, when you're cuddled in comfy hotel beds you don't have to make or wash or fold.

Happy Valentine's Day J-Man. Thanks for helping me with these guys. Who knew a heart could love so much?

Merry Christmas 2014

Back on a lighter note

Christmas this year was truly magical. For the first time, we had that bright-eyed wonder of Christmas and Santa and Stickers and Presents and Cookies and Lights.  Yes, this boy and his lights!

It was so fun to watch PDG start to actually get it this year.  And to watch little MDG waddle around completely confused by it all but wanting to share in anything his big brother did or found.

We didn't make it out to any big light shows like the temple or the zoo, but we did make quite a few trips to nearby neighborhoods, driving 15mph and oohing and ahhing over even the smallest displays. Plus, each afternoon as the sun would set PDG helped me "wake up" our own two blow-ups in the front yard. I've never had decorations as a grown up, so I might've been just as excited as he was. And thanks to post-Christmas sales, next year we'll have even more to "wake up" in the yard.

Although the first round of cards didn't get this treatment, PDG helped with the second batch of cards by putting stickers everywhere and scribbling with a red crayon on the back. If you got one of those, know it was made with love. If you didn't, know it was done after bedtime for ease and sanity.

We were perhaps so prepared for the holiday this year in part because J-Man had to fly home to attend his grandmother's funeral, and took MDG with him for some silver lining on the trip and to introduce him to some of the G Family.  That left me alone with one kid (which feels easy now, after juggling two - how did that happen?) so I could decorate and shop and wrap at the beginning of the month.

That, plus amazon prime is a life saver.  How did my parents ever actually shop for everything for us growing up? In real stores?

We had our annual brunch which is quickly becoming full of babies.  Baby boys to be specific. MDG was caught between the big boys, now old enough to just go play in PDG's room building lego towers by themselves, and the smaller babies content to roll on the floor with the toys he's now grown bored by. But it's MDG, so mostly he just sort of walked from person to person, checking out their plates, laughing with that goofy grin of his, and then deciding he was scared and wanted no one but his mama.

By the time Christmas did finally arrive, the boys were ready. They'd been filling up on Advent calendar chocolates all month, watching the present pile under the tree gradually grow, searching for our Elf on the Shelf named "Elf" and running around with reindeer antler headbands long enough to have broken most of them.

We went to see J-Man's family for Thai take-out Christmas Eve dinner, woke up to Santa's presents at our house, then drove for more food, family, and present exchanging with the H Family. We all got a little spoiled by each other.

 

Perhaps one of my favorite moments was when my parents opened their gift from me, Big Sis and Big Bro - a new pillow with a family photo on it.  It seems only yesterday we got the original, even though Big Bro's sons are probably older now than I was in that first photo. It seemed time for an update.

I love Christmas and the chance it gives us to focus on the people we love and making them happy. Yes, I believe in religious pieces of the holiday, but even if you don't, I think we can all agree that sharing a gift that will bring a genuine smile to the face of someone you love is a wonderful pursuit. And yeah, receiving a gift like that isn't so bad either.

Midsection Mania

First, a warning: If talk of uteruses and intestines makes you queasy or uncomfortable, this is not the post for you.

That being said, I'll proceed.

This week was a rough one on the insides of us G's.

First, PDG swallowed a penny. Yep. This guy

He loves 'moneys' and was admiring the coin while lying on his back. A few moments later he coughed super hard and looked visibly upset, so we grabbed him fearing he might need the heimlich. He didn't, thank heavens, but he did start crying "where is it? where'd it go? I want it!" while sticking out his tongue.

Despite wanting to slide into denial about what had just happened, J-Man and I confronted it head on. We poured a cup of apple cider and called it  "special penny juice." J-Man slid me another penny which I held in my hand, visible once he finished his "treat" under the glass. In PDG's mind, he had managed to drink a delicious drink and magically bring the penny back from his belly.

In our minds we began wondering how long it takes for a coin to navigate a two year old's digestive tract and would he be ok?

The answers, we later discovered, were five days and yes.

But, as if that weren't enough midsection mayhem for us, it got worse.

During my annual trip to the lady doctor (which, when you have two kids in twenty months becomes so much more than annual that the receptionists call you 'family' and get excited at the prospect there could be a #3 - which there isn't by the way) they suggested doing another sonogram to check on my Mirena.  Let's just say that the usual way you're supposed to check on an IUD had disappeared, so a follow up appointment was scheduled.

Well, I showed up to the office's new sono lab and did the whole deal. It was far less nerve-wracking while not wondering boy-or-girl? or is-the-heart-spot-gone? or is-there-a-heartbeat? type questions.

At least, it was.

Until, after reconfirming my PCOS and doing both the easy and the uncomfortable types of scans, she looked at me all serious and said "I have to be honest. I don't see it."

Next step - call in the docs. Next step - use words like "possibly in your abdomen" and "possibly expulsed" and "might need to scope it out" and "x-ray."

Ugh

So, yeah, off I went to radiology, where I had to sign papers swearing I wasn't pregnant and that if I were, it isn't their fault if I miscarry due to the x-ray (which was strangely really emotional) before they finally let me get it taken. I tried to tell her that two docs and a sonographer had just been all up in my uterus, if there'd been a baby we would've noticed it, but she was "just doing her job."

Most telling quote of the visit: "Oh there it is. Or, well, maybe. I don't know, we'll send it to the doctor to say for sure. That's why they get paid the big bucks."

So where is the IUD now? Good question.

Hopefully, like the penny, it's figured out an exit plan.  After all, I really don't want to go back and ask Dr. S just what he meant by "scope it out."

Yeah. No thanks.

Hello Pill, we meet again after five years.

Happy Happy Halloween

If you know me, you probably know Halloween isn't exactly my favorite holiday.  Yes, I do love treats, but I'm just not the sort of creative brain that can design and pull-off unique, elaborate costumes. I'm far better at admiring from afar.

Being a mom, though, Halloween is a must.  I mean, I don't want these boys to grow up and wonder why we're the lame family that hates fun.

We did costumes the easy way - MDG dressed in a hand-me-down pumpkin suit (grandkid #5 to wear it), J-Man went as Russell Wilson by wearing all the Seahawk gear we already own, and PDG got to stand in Party City and point at the costume of his choice from a wall of possibilities (Spiderman).  As for me, I bought a $5 surgeon mask/gown that I never even opened.

My church does Trunk-or-Treat along with a massive pinterest-like party for all the families in advance of the big day. J-Man is a great sport every year, despite not even really being able to recognize the other ward members who tend to take the holiday far more seriously than we do. We went, got candy, played some games, ate pizza, and made it home before any G boys threw tantrums.  Success!

 

The following Friday, on the real day, I finally got to visit J-Man's new office for their office party.  It was A-Maz-Ing.  The whole place was decked out in cobwebs and black streamers and every cluster of cubicles had a theme to go with their giant bowls of candy.  In the biggest conference room were pizzas, snacks, a background for professional photographs and more. Who needed real trick or treating?

PDG won the slew of twenty-something techies over with his "happy happy halloween," "trick or treat" and manners that he actually decided to show off on command. MDG won them over just by being a baby.

It was a great afternoon that thankfully didn't need to be topped off with actual door-to-door treat-seeking, since we hit the road for more non-Halloween fun with the H Family.  (more on that sometime soon)