Daycare Begins

My little drool buddy has left me for another.  Ok, let me rephrase, I now leave my little drool buddy with another.  Boy is it tough.  And boy does he love it.

Even though work started on Wednesday, we decided to start daycare on Monday.  This way we could practice the morning routine, and also I wouldn't be distracted at my first day back wondering if Miss S would regret that she took him in.  (Have you heard PDG's cry when he is upset?  It's intense)

Monday morning we got up, and got dressed.  J-Man took over the dressing while naturally I handled the feeding.  We got out the door close to the anticipated time and a half hour later had made the commute to Miss S's house, close to where I'll be teaching.

She took him in her arms, checked to be sure the bottles had been labeled correctly, and then just sort of smiled at me.  I was internally trying to think of any reason not to leave yet, but after a few awkward moments it was clear I needed to bite the bullet and just walk away.

I spent the day cleaning the house.  Real cleaning, like dusting and scrubbing, not tidying.  I totally organized PDG's closet, labeling his clothes he's outgrown and sorting through the 9 month and 12 month hand-me-downs he will be fitting before we know it.  Every time the phone rang I jumped, scared something had gone wrong.  Or maybe he was crying too much.  Every time, though, it was nothing to do with PDG at all.

When I arrived to get him that afternoon, he was straight chillin' in the bouncy seat with sleepy eyes.  He'd done fine, she said.  I'd sent a good amount of milk, he'd napped when the big kids napped but was too stimulated to nap in the morning, and overall was just fine.

And so it went for the rest of the week.  Each day it's been easier to leave him, and each afternoon he's just as fun to pick up.  He now smiles when he sees me come in, but he also smiles when he sees Miss S in the mornings.  He naps much better and is more content to play solo (he's happily playing while I watch right now). To the verbal kids in the daycare I'm just "PDG's mom," which they call me to show off whatever activity they are doing.  Everyone is happy, somehow.  It doesn't mean I'm not still nervous or feeling that mom guilt.  I hear that doesn't fully go away.  I'm just glad he's got a house full of people to love on him while I can't.