Parks and Pummels

Let me preface this post by saying that I'm a nice person who generally thinks good, peaceful thoughts.

And let me begin the actual post by saying today I wanted to do bodily harm to a bratty jerk of a nine-year-old at the park.

See PDG, MDG and I venture down to the neighborhood park just about every day now.  It's our daily playtime.  As we drive down the block approaching home PDG will usually ask "See Daddy?" and then answer himself saying "No, no see Daddy. Daddy work." We then pull up to the driveway and PDG generally shouts "our house!" and then "park!"

I unsnap them both from their carseats, unlock the front door, put the day's milk in the fridge, and then we grab the stroller to head down to the park.  If I delay more than that I can put my money on a tantrum.

PDG loves the sand and the slides and goes back and forth between the two sides of the park for as long as I let him.  It's all about how long I'll need to prep dinner.  Today, we had a decent amount of time, but he'd spent it mostly in the sandbox before heading to the big toy.  It was gorgeous out and some kid was having a birthday party so the quaint little area was jam packed.  With MDG in my arms I watched PDG try to maneuver his way through the tunnel that connects the stairs with the slides (the only real way a kid his size can access the slides on this particular toy).

I try to be a hands-off mom.  You know, watching from a bench unless he looks like he's in immediate danger.  Letting him work out his conflicts with other kids unless there's hitting or really bad sharing that might end in someone's tears.

Well, I looked up to see some jerk of a nine year old (I'm guessing here, maybe he was eight?  ten?  too old to still have that sweet little kid cuteness working in his favor) blocking the end of the tunnel by the slide.  I saw PDG try to use his words saying "please" and "slide" on repeat thinking the big kid must not understand.

I saw the breakdown minutes before it happened.  His eyes getting more and more determined to get back to the slide and this little twit in the way.  I walked over and asked the kid politely

 -Please let him by, he's trying to get to the slide.
-No
(jerk!)

-Please let him by.  He's a baby and you're much bigger.
-I don't listen to adults
(what a little *****) he raised his legs higher and avoided eye contact

-I'm being polite and he is trying to get by.  Please move your legs.
-I don't want to.  He can go around.
(holy crap I this is getting ridiculous...)

-Let him by. He's about to cry and he's too small to climb the other way.

By this time another five year old was also trying to get up the tunnel.  He was accidentally pushing PDG, but only because he was equally annoyed at the bigger kid and unaware of his surroundings like all kids that young. The nine-year-old put his hand on PDG holding his shirt and pushing him back.

-Don't touch him.  He is a baby and you need to move now.
(in other words, get your hands off my kid before I flip out)

PDG started to cry now, giving up and sliding back down the gentle incline.  Another mom, associated with the party, came over to help me negotiate.  The little twerp talked back to her too while I went to console my two year old.  How do you tell your kid that some other kids are just jerks and will probably grow up to be those coworkers you purposefully cough around in the hopes they'll catch your germs and stay home now and again because life is better when they take a day off.  I mean, what? Who does that?

Eventually a nanny figured out it was her charge causing the commotion and lured him away with a promise of something he probably didn't deserve.  PDG did the slide a few more times and we left to go smell the flowers and play in the backyard until dinner was ready.

But man, I wanted to pummel that kid and in a way that I didn't think moms were supposed to feel.  I wanted to climb into that tunnel and drag him out and sock him and say "how dare you block my PDG's way and put your hands on him?  who do you think you are?  You are a spoiled rotten little brat and I hope I never see you at this park again"

Maybe that's unhealthy. I am still in a good bit of sleep-debt and am dealing with the end-of-the-year whines all day with my high schoolers. And possibly (though I like to think not) my PDG or MDG could grow up to have an encounter like that one day.  I mean, this kid might not be a bad kid who is mean to toddlers all the time.  It could just be a bad day.  I doubt it.  But, you know, maybe.

Even so, I was angry.  And defensive.  And I realized that while I know violence isn't the answer and turn the other cheek and use your words and all that good stuff.... one day there will probably be a time that my boys will choose to pummel some bully and after appropriate discipline and talking I'll say internally "atta boy." Nobody likes a kid who can't play nice at the playground.  Not even usually-nice mamas like me.