Right On

Question: Do you carry over driving rules into things like say, sidewalks or grocery aisles?

Because I do.

And I'm as American as you can get with driving rules (despite my recent bad luck...).  I'm a concrete-conservative woman who believes in nothing more than being right.  And by being right, I only really mean walking on the right.

The other day I was walking up and down my adorable street in Old Town looking for a quaint lunch when not once, not twice, but three times I got run off MY side of the sidewalk by lefties. 

Don't get me wrong, I love legitimate lefties.  They're always more creative and artistic and think-outside-the-box than I am.  See, left-handed I'm ok with.  But left-walking?  Where do you think we are, the UK?

(I've actually never been across the Atlantic, so I probably shouldn't judge)

At any rate, I like my side of the sidewalk.  I like watching my feet on the criss-cross brick patterns, looking up only to notice the handicap ramp indicating I've reached a one-way side street and should beware of oncoming traffic.  I like knowing where I'm going and not having to think at all in the meantime.

In the grocery store I'm on a mission.  I have my cart with my precious cargo of freezer dinners and eggs and beef jerky for J-Man and it's important that the pathway remains clear.  Moving straight has the right of way before people turning out of an aisle.  Right is right.

So when I encounter these people walking at me on my side of the street I like to give them a moment to recognize that while I do believe people in America should speak whatever language they prefer, worship whatever god(s) they choose, and eat dinner in front of the tv screen if they're so inclined, I don't want to move. 

It usually fails.

And sheepish little me scoots aside so that they can keep invading other people's space farther down the line.

I do usually stop to listen for a second though, just in case they have an accent.  In which case they're forgiven.

After all, I'd want to be forgiven if I ventured into a world where every day was opposite day on the freeway.