The Sweater

Folks, today has been a comedy of errors.  Not to be confused with A Comedy of Errors in which Big Sis starred back in the 90s due to having two sets of twins in her tiny private school class of...18?

A comedy of errors where I keep feeling silly.  A couple are private/inappropriate so I'll spare you.

Yes, I still have a little bit of a filter.  I think.

But let's start with getting off the train this morning.  Here I am with my Express tucked under my arm after having failed at the anagrams (sad, sad day when I can't get even one!) and my commuter walk face on.  I navigate down the stairs on the left (which surprisingly few people use), smile at the metro man, swipe my metro card.  Everything's going grand and I recycle my newspaper and keep on trucking. 

A few blocks into my walk I try to peel my banana in order to take my vitamin that I forget more than I remember and it's all black and gross.  Sticky smelly ripe gross.  I was trying to take it apart while sweating and opening my vitamin bottle and speedwalking and it was a minor failure.  But hey, mission accomplished.

So then, after the banana silliness, I realize I'm sweating because I have a sweater on.  Shocker.  So I disrobe and casually throw the sweater on top of and perpendicular to my purse zipper and keep on powering down the street.

This office, despite being beautiful and clean and void of puppy pads, mean wig ladies, and the smell of urine/perm/bacon, is very hot. I was glad to be in my NY&Co bodyshaper tank.  Soon enough, however, our landlord had switched the AC and I became progressively chillier an chillier until....

I went to put on my sweater.

Oh Sweaaaaa-terrrrrr.  Where areeeee  youuuuuuu? 

Not on my chair.
Not under my desk
Not on or around my laptop bag
Not on the microwave
Not in the fridge
Not in the bathroom
Not down by the entrance
Not anywhere

Somewhere, between here and the metro, someone has discovered that cute half cardigan with only 2 out of 3 buttons and they've kicked it or stolen it or simply frowned thinking of its poor owner so goosebumply in her cute air-conditioned office

I hope I find it on my powerwalk home! And I hope I actually put it IN my purse this time!