Driving (me) Crazy

For the second time this week I decided to have dessert before my dinner.  That's one of the perks of life before kids that you have to set examples for, right?  J-Man and I set out on a mini-date to Rita's (since M and I left him out of our last two ice cream adventures) and took time in the DC area traffic to just chat and laugh

It wasn't all easy, since I like to pretend I'm smarter than the GPS, and that has, on occasion, gotten us pretty lost.  I like to fantasize about the good old days where maps, not satellites, were the valued resource and memory instead of technology led to directional prowess.  Ask J-Man, usually I'm pretty good. But "usually" inherently means "not always."

Successfully filled with custard and gelato we were driving home and commenting on a crazy Mercedes weaving in and out. narrowly avoiding accidents on the residential stretch, only to advance one car length at the stoplight just ahead.  Such a fruitless and maniacal plan.

Where do crazy DC drivers come from?

Why are there so many?

Idea #1
Long ago, as Mr. Henry Ford was marketing his Model T's, he sold one to a rich landowner in northern Virginia.  This man, so excited by the newfound power and ability to zip his way to and from the capital of the nation, began driving like, well, a donkey.  He was stubborn, would drive right up behind little ladies and children walking to market, would weave around surprise clumps of horse droppings with no warning, would scowl at anyone daring to walk in the path and even so, would find himself stuck behind the same cows in the road as every other pedestrian/buggy/cyclist. This proved to only anger him further.  By the time the 2nd person in town bought his own identical Model T, he only knew one example of how to drive it, and followed suit.  Soon, DC would be overrun, both inside and out, with angry drivers whose near death pursuits would help them to arrive perhaps two minutes ahead of their safer counterparts.

Idea #2
Once upon a time DC city dwellers realized that, despite being the nation's capital city, they were not the coolest city on the east coast.  Desperate to keep up with sparkly New York, they developed an attitude of competition and arrogance.  They started raising the rent, making complex metro prices while boasting of a cleaner ratless system, and generally mimicing this northern adversary as best they could.  Sort of like that kid in high school that tries to be like the nice popular kid, but is just obnoxious instead of outgoing and mean instead of funny?  So when cars came around, these DC folks heard about aggressive driving from NYC and decided to bring it in down here.  But they had to do it a little bigger (meaner) and better (more consistently) in order to keep up the copycat trend.

Idea #3
DC drivers aren't crazy.  I'm the loca one and soon the wisdom will settle in my driving brain as well

Any other thoughts? 

No matter what the reason, at least I always have an excuse to ask J-Man to drive