Looper and Love

What's a girl to do when feeling irrationally emotional and her J-Man has left her for the evening to join a volleyball club?  Turn to the inter-webs, I suppose.

I could blame this odd heat wave that had me and PDG at the park this afternoon rather than our usual crawl-around-the-house-finding-stuff-mama-missed game.  (fyi - he was not impressed at all by the sandbox despite his fascination with overlooked sandy dirt particles here at home).

I'm pretty sure, though, that it's from watching Looper.  Why do I watch these time travel movies?  Without fail I get angry, emotional, or both.  I think they make me think too hard.  And the result of that thinking invariably leaves me annoyed with the complexities of time travel and the unexplored plot edits that a careful consideration would require.  I'm no time/space genius, but I am a former mathlete and I did geek out in my science classes and above all I happen to find consequences of actions to be incredibly important to weigh, no matter how minute the decision.  Am I the only one?


So as JGL and Bruce Willis and an adorable kid whose bright eyes and sweet cheeks reminded me of PDG, and the rest of the cast were winding through a plot that infuriated yet captivated me, I got all overwhelmed.  What sacrifices would I make for my boy?  What would he do for me?  What would I do to ensure a lifetime and beyond with J-Man?

I don't know if those are the questions I was supposed to leave with, but whatever.  After formulating an entire argument I'll have with J-Man about the film (I don't really need his side, I know what he'll say, but we'll discuss when he gets home anyway) I had to peek in and see my little guy.

It was a need.  Not a want.  A need.

If him sleeping wasn't so intricately linked to my sleeping, I would've picked him up and hugged him tight and kissed him and rocked him and told him how much I love him.  Yes, he would've cried.  But somewhere in his baby psyche he would've gotten my intentions. Of course, he'd only been asleep an hour so sanity won out and I grabbed the laptop instead.

I just sometimes feel so full of love and gratitude for him, and for J-Man, and for my family, and for my friends that I get all teary for no reason.

If I were pregnant I'd blame that, but instead I think it's just me being a little crazy.

Maybe it's time to turn on a crime drama and mellow out a little.  Those irrational plots are somehow much less disturbing.