Ending an Era

Every once in a while PDG still falls asleep nursing.  It's so rare I almost don't know what to do.  We've decided that I'm going to stop nursing all together in April, after our spring break trip out west that will certainly confuse his eating, sleeping, and generally behaving habits.  Stopping before that might be way to much change all at once.

So there are only a few weeks left of this sweet experience.

Now, I know, I don't HAVE to stop.  I know that I could keep going for years.  I'd rather not be the mom nursing a kindergartener, but I'm also not someone who places some specific age on when it is suddenly wrong/gross/selfish/whatever to keep breastfeeding.  I say do it however long you'd like.  However long feels right.

And just like I think women have the right to choose all sorts of things (aka everything) about their work and body, I think I get to choose about this.  I'm ready to stop.  I'm ready to have my body back, even if (hopefully) not for long before nurturing another baby.  I'm ready to keep providing him with comfort and food, just not in the same way.  I'm ready to let go of breastfeeding.

Someday I might read this and think "why did you stop right after a year you silly goose?"  Or maybe I'll think "why did you go on so long when it started to feel like a burden?"  But hopefully I'll think "man breastfeeding was a crazy, painful, sweet, complicated, loving journey you shared with PDG.  You did good, little mama."

Until then, I'm going to cherish the moments I can give my baby everything he needs, and help him feel so loved and comfortable that he can doze into that deep slumber that only babies (and husbands) can really know.