The Guilt Bus

Ok, perhaps this was me being oversensitive.  It's ok, you can call me out on it if so.  This was before my hormones started raging lately (and J-Man will back me up, I am cray-cray with hormones these days) but this bus poster pissed me off.

First, I work for a lot of reasons.  Others have summed up the  reasons women may work far more eloquently than I can at this moment, but it isn't all just to pay bills.  I enjoy working.  I enjoy PDG too.  I can't wait for eight weeks with him this summer.  But I know myself to know that come August I'll enjoy a return to daily, scheduled grown up time, a feeling of accomplishment that is separate than the joys and accomplishments at home.  I like being pushed to learn daily (because boy is my Spanish still rustier than I'd like to admit!).  There's a lot I get out of being a working mama.  Just like there is a lot that women who choose to stay home get out of that experience.  To each her own.

But, even as a mom who happily works, there is that ever present mom-guilt.  I recognize that my PDG spends a solid 40-45 hours a week with a woman that is fantastic, but not his mother.  He is not the only baby who wants to be held.  She doesn't sing in that off tune harmony he's known since the womb.  She's great.  But she isn't Mom.

I do grade and plan as fast as I can so that I can pick PDG up before 4pm and not bring anything home. Generally I can even get him by 3:30.  It feels great to have daylight hours to play and giggle with him.  Or, with the recent dizzy spells, lie on the couch while he plays and giggles around me.

What I don't need, is some bus that keeps stopping in front of me telling me how I should be rushing to pick up my kid, and how traffic is getting in the way of me being a good and happy parent.

I hate traffic.  But I do know that PDG is somewhere safe.  Somewhere he is generally quite happy.  And if it takes me 15 minutes extra now and again because I have something to do, or because I got behind a bus, or because someone is having a terrible day and got in a wreck further down the road causing a major bottleneck, I don't need a guilt trip.   Thanks but no thanks