14 Months Thoughts

I hear it's a typical new mom thing to do, and that it can last your lifetime with your first kid, but I'm constantly on the lookout for something to be "wrong" with PDG.  Either a rash is somehow more than a rash, or a speech delay means he'll never talk, or a walking delay means he'll be disabled permanently....

It's kinda bad.

I was talking to a coworker about it, and she pretty much told me to chill out.  Her youngest of four is on the Autism spectrum, so she knows what it is actually like to receive a scary and difficult diagnosis.  Yet she assures me that even when that happens, life goes on.  You love your kid just as much.  You advocate for them even more perhaps, but there is nothing less about them.

It was like someone had smacked me in the face in a way that hadn't fully clicked before.  Obviously I knew I would love PDG just as much if something really were diagnosed one day.  Pscyhological, physical, emotional etc.  He'd still be my PDG and he'd still get that portion of my heart that never runs out of love. I just kept letting my fears be the stronger emotion.

So I stopped to think about what all he IS doing these days, regardless of what he isn't.  And what all I am thankful for.  And what a joy this little guy is in my life.  So if one day something comes up - because something comes up for all of us right? one of these days? no matter how fabulous our mothers are, we all face something mental/psychological/physical that we have to overcome - I'll keep doing the same.

And if all of that was like, duh, for you, I'm glad to be on your wavelength finally.

So.... PDG.  He can climb.

And he calls me "mama" now, and repeats lots of words even if he doesn't say them on his own.  He says "sssss" for socks and "shshtsht" for shoes.  He still growls for every animal, and often at trees or bushes where I guess he imagines animals might live.  

He likes to doodle

He kicks balls and throws them.

He loves shutting doors, but only once has opened one back up on his own.

And he can stand and dance and boogie (to the very same band that played at his mama and papa's wedding no less!)

He can go from sitting to standing without needing to hold on to anything else.  And when he doesn't think too hard, he'll take a step or two before realizing what he's up to and sitting back down.

And he can focus like nobody's business.  This day at the park, rather than interact with anyone, he just wanted to put mulch into the bigtoy holes.  So he did.  For a long time.

He thinks toilets are super cool, especially when his mama is puking into one.

And dinnertime may still be his favorite time of the day.