Anatomy Scan - MDG

Hey.  So.  June happened....  yeah.  There was the end of the school year and exhausting morning sickness that markedly did NOT end with the new trimester.  There was a beautiful wedding and a trip to Little Rock.  There were big decisions in the Supreme Court and a nasty cold that hit me and PDG both.  Oh, and a 15 month doctor's appointment (because he's getting that old!).

I have pictures I could/should/will? post - assuming I don't go another month without writing.

But the biggest news all wraps up into today's pity party, which has then forced me to open up this little laptop and write out my complicated pregnant anxieties.

On June 26th J-Man and I went to our anatomy ultrasound.  PDG came along, and got confused as the lights went out.  Within seconds our little peanut had spread his legs and shown us we were getting another BOY!!!  

Now, if I'm being 100% honest - which is a big reason I blog to begin with - there was a tiny part of me that was like "oh.  okay.  I love boys.  But a girl would've been a fun change."  Not a big part of me, but a little bit.  Then there was the big part that thought "I know what to do with boys.  Yes!  And how adorable will these boys be, so close in age, running around and wrestling and nerding out together!?"  And of course, the biggest part which thought, "on with the scan - is he healthy??"

My office outsources its ultrasounds, so I had to rely on the ultrasound technician, who can't tell you but so much.  The measurements all seemed to look right on target (or slightly smaller, because remember I'm pretty sure they are almost a week early on my due date) and he cooperated with all the needed angles.

Then she said "I need to look more closely at your placenta."  Sexy, right?  Ha.

Turns out - and here's where you skip a few lines if you don't like uterine details - I have a low-lying placenta.  Supposedly this usually resolves itself by the third trimester.  The tech said she sees this often and the doc would tell me more.  Then she measured something else and asked me if I'd been bleeding.  I told her no, and she told me I might, because I have a clot.  Even sexier.  Again, this often resolves itself.  Or if it doesn't, I could bleed to death in a vaginal delivery.  Although, thanks to modern technology, I'd just have a c-section if it didn't get reabsorbed into the placenta.

It all seemed pretty no-big-deal.  Issues, but not scary ones.  So when I saw the doctor the next day, I was ready for a plan of action.  But, while I love my doctor's office, the ultrasound communication does leave something to be desired, so she hadn't actually seen the scan yet.  I could only tell her what the tech told me she'd seen.  To which the doctor gave a temporary plan of pelvic bedrest.

Now, about that "sexiness."  For anyone that doesn't know, pelvic bedrest is a cute pregnancy euphamism for sex moratorium.  At least until a follow-up in 4-6 weeks. So right as I'm finally feeling human/womanly and not just a vomiting host to a persistent uterus parisite (to be named Malcolm Davis), my doctor went and shut that whole area down.

So, why today's pity party then?

Well while out and about I missed a call from the triage nurse at the office.  I called her back but she was in with a patient so I had to wait 20 minutes.  Twenty long minutes, to find out what was up.  Anxiety meter went from 0-1000 just 'cause.

So when we talked, I scribbled down her notes from the doctor outlining that my baby MDG has an echogenic focus in his left ventricle and I would need a second ultrasound and they'd prefer me to do it at the perinatal center so that I can have immediate results rather than this weeklong waiting game.   Ugh.

Before you google it, the summary is, he's almost certainly just fine.  But if he isn't fine, it isn't a heart issue like it sounds.  Nope, it's chromosomal and a soft marker for downs or trisomy 21.

Obviously I will love this baby unconditionally, but that doesn't mean that this tiny seedling of fear hasn't full on nestled itself into my crazytown brain.

In the end, it'll work out.  Whatever that will mean. If I have learned anything since the day J-Man and I decided to start this baby-making journey in 2010 - you can't predict the process.  You just have to make the most of all the ups and downs.  

So maybe we got less than perfect scan results today.  We also got the first little kicks strong enough for J-Man to feel.  Maybe we can't have sexytime for another month.  At least I haven't puked for over a week now.  

Just gotta keep finding all the silver linings

Phew, I feel better already.  Thanks.