The Big 3-0

Perhaps you heard I had a birthday last week?  It was a big one. That's right, I entered my thirties. And I feel....

Conflicted?

On one hand, I'm like, whatevs, nbd, it's just a number. And on that superficial checklist in our collective subconscious I'm doing ok. Married, career-not-job, out of parents home and living in a (rented) house with yard. I obviously fail in the gray hair and able to stay awake until 10pm category, but a decent showing overall.

So I figured I wouldn't care at all. Except. It figures. I did.

Not so much that I'm getting older, but more that if I'm thirty, my parents are 30+the age they had me. And my siblings will soon enough be hitting 40. My kids are getting bigger too. Time just refuses to stay still.

Remember when PDG still wore pants with cute patterns on the bottom? Remember when Saturday afternoons meant playing on the sidelines at JHHS soccer games or track meets? Remember when the moon followed my car to preschool and I'd mimic Papa H saying 'let's rock and roll' every morning - nearly thirty whopping years before my own PDG would mimic me saying 'alright let's go' before each pre-dawn daycare commute?

Time flew by. And keeps on flying. And here we are just trying to write it down and snap its image and hold on to the bits we can.

Where is the pause button when you need it?  Oh, that's right, probably on a remote that my two year old stuck somewhere before getting distracted and forgetting it. Because he turned two already and does those things. Because I'm old enough to have a two year old. Because somewhere along the way I think I turned into a grown up. Creaky bones, gray hairs, out of date catch phrases and all. Even so, here's hoping I get another 30+ to keep watching the circle of life with these lil men.